Baby Changes Everything

I knew before having Ellie that things would be different when she got here.  I don't want to say that I wasn't prepared for the changes, because I was.  I knew I'd get less sleep, I'd have a harder time going out in public, I wouldn't get as much time with friends.  And as much as I love having her in my life, and I can no longer imagine my life without her, I still sometimes mourn my life before baby.

Last week, one of my best friends graduated from Nursing School.  Before Ellie, I wouldn't have even thought twice about making sure I was there.  She had her graduation/halloween party last night.  I love halloween, and dressing up, and parties. :)  So when I got the invitation, my first instinct was to figure out what I was going to dress up as.  And then I got thinking about Ellie, and what I was going to do with her.  I knew that I didn't want to leave her home.  This party was 3 hours away, and if I went I'd end up spending the night, because I wouldn't want to drive home late at night.  Which means I'd have to leave Ellie overnight, which I am absolutely not willing to do yet.  I could bring her with me....but I knew that Cody would be sad because that meant not seeing her for over 24 hours.  Plus, I wasn't sure I was ready to travel that far with her.  We would have to make more stops than usual, and what is a 3 hour drive would most likely turn into a 4 or 5 hour drive.  And once we got there, what would I do with her?  There was going to be drinking, and tons of people, and I wasn't sure I'd want to expose her to all that.  She's only 8 weeks old, she still gets overstimulated if there is too much going on.  And I wouldn't drive home late at night with her, so I'd have to bring her pack and play, and my breast pump, and her bouncy seat....and it just turned into something that was way more than I was willing to do. 

So, I had to miss out.

My sister and her friend went. I saw lots of pictures on facebook, that made me a bit sad that I wasn't there.  But I knew I had made the right choice.

Instead, I went to dinner with Cody's family. His grandma leaves for Florida for the winter on Monday and every year, they do dinner together as a whole family.  So I was able to bring Ellie to meet some family that she hasn't met before.  It was alright, I knew I'd have had more fun if I was with my friends, but hanging out with them meant that I was going to have an evening of hanging out with my baby, which meant so much more to me than dressing up in a costume and drinking much more than I should. 

Last year, I wouldn't have even entertained the idea of not going to the party, and this year, I'm so glad I decided to stay home to cuddle my girl. 

Like I said, baby changes everything. <3